Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22 – episode 5

November – getting back into our stride

Brentford 1 Norwich City 2 – Saturday 6 November

The bit at the start

After three straight league defeats this was starting to feel like a must-win tussle against a side who haven’t won a single game all season.

Announcing the team…

The Last Post was well observed by all, except for one drunken Norwich fan, at what would be the last home game before Remembrance Sunday. The Norwich fans were first out of the blocks with the singing, easily out-performing the Brentford. The Norwich players were doing well on the pitch too, smelling blood as Brentford couldn’t get their act together.

…or is it a boy band?

When Normann scored for Norwich their fans let off a yellowy-green flare. People were complaining about the smell, but I quite liked it. Then Pukki scored, but no follow-up flare was forthcoming. Perhaps the fans hadn’t considered they’d get more than one goal. They settled instead for a rendition of ‘We’re winning away, we’re winning away. How s**t must you be…’

I wonder who came up with the idea…

Thomas Frank made some bold substitutions in an attempt to right the ship. Bold as in surprising, to some of the fans around us. Only Bryan Mbeumo appeared to be playing well. Rico got one back for us on 60 minutes and we looked good for a while. An equaliser seemed possible.

…that our lads should strike such curious poses

It was so disappointing. We really should’ve won at home to the bottom club, who up till now had lost seven and drawn two. Brave Thomas Frank still did his walk round the edge of pitch, applauding the fans. Many of the players did a shorter lap of appreciation, not much more than the edge of the centre circle.

Some Brentford fans with children were seated near the away fans section. A couple of them weren’t happy at the intimidating behaviour of some of the Norwich fans. Apparently it was much worse than the usual away fan banter.

To top it all, the Norwich manager, Daniel Farke, was sacked after the game despite winning. Harsh. He was soon replaced by ex-Brentford boss Dean Smith. And so it goes, round and round.

In the days that followed Brentford fans were taken to task on social media for not singing loud enough for long enough. Some are suggesting that outsiders have been applying to be club members in order to buy tickets to sell to away fans at a profit, thus diluting the proportion of true fans in the crowd. Whatever the truth of it, while we do need to be more consistently supportive when things aren’t going well, it can’t be the reason things are patchy on the pitch.

We’re singing a sad song at the moment, and the whole club needs to make it better (preferably by the end of the international break).

Newcastle United 3 Brentford 3 – Saturday 20 November

The full moon on the Tyne is mine all mine

We have fond memories of coming here when Newcastle were in the Championship, even though we lost. Is it really five years since we were last in The Home of Greggs?

The bridge in daylight

We were also excited at the prospect of our first game since the international break and return to a place we like, so we went up on the train the day before. We passed through Durham, which looks beautiful and unspoilt – must visit one day. Then the Angel of the North up on the hill just to the east. We had a lovely seafood meal at Big Mussels – they should have these everywhere.

A Tonka Toy of a swing bridge

The morning before the game, we walked across the curved angle of a bouncy footbridge over the river to Gateshead and west along the south bank of the Tyne footpath. Then back over the river on the high road bridge, my legs weak with vertigo.

You can see the Isle of Man from up here

More vertigo was experienced while climbing/crawling up to our seats. St James’s Park is lower on two sides to give light to some beautiful Georgian terraced houses right by the stadium. The very top of one of the high sides is where they put the away fans. Somewhere far, far below, the Bees are playing the Magpies. Meanwhile, up here, Bees fans are reminding Newcastle that Ivan Toney was once on their books – ‘He left cos you’re s**t!’, etc.

It was certainly an exciting game. Newcastle scored on 10 minutes and Ivan Toney equalised a minute later. Rico then put us in the lead on the half-hour, and Newcastle equalised shortly after.

When Newcastle fans cheer, they sure do cheer, a tumultuous roar from 50,000-odd Geordies whenever Newcastle went on the attack. Wonder if they ever heard us, a thousand or so Bees fans up in the gods, as anything more than a distant faint buzz, even though we sang our hearts out.

Jamie from Made in Chelsea on the cover of the programme

New manager Eddie Howe wasn’t present; he’s got Covid. But he was on the cover of the match day programme. At least, I think it was him. The programme’s away team section was interesting, as always. Spent most of half time looking at a picture of Kevin O’Connor that didn’t look like him. But who else could it be?

Is that really Kevin O’Connor?

The second half didn’t disappoint. Onyeka put us back in the lead on the hour mark but we knew it was far from over. On 75 minutes Newcastle equalised again and went all out for the winner. But we held on. We’re getting better at that.

Somewhere down there we’ve just earned a thrilling draw

After the game we met up with some Bees friends and went to the Trent Star pub nearby. Heaving with Newcastle fans it was. A few of them clocked our accents and turned round for a chat. Asking us about the game and the club. All very friendly and not a hint of bother.

Brentford 1 Everton 0 – Sunday 28 November

‘Tickets?’ was the one-word email sent by my Everton-supporting friend that was supposed to pass for a message of congratulation when Bees got promoted way back in sunny May.

Rafa Benitez didn’t pick Ivan Toney when both were at Newcastle Utd. We always do. Rafa’s now at injury-ravaged Everton. Bet he wishes he had an Ivan Toney there.

The bit at the start again

Our first home game in a while and boy was it cold. So cold Sergei’s barnet had turned a frosty snowman grey. Or maybe he’s been at the hair-dye again. Everton were wearing their home kit at an away fixture. Is that unusual?

Brentford started brightly, controlling the midfield, with Toney sometimes coming deep to help out more than usual. Indeed, we bossed the whole of the first half.

We got a VAR-assisted penalty on 24 minutes after Andros Townsend kicked Frank ‘the Tank’ Onyeka in the side of the head. We were all surprised that Townsend wasn’t booked, but after seeing it on telly later I reckon the ref got it right. I hate watching Ivan Toney take those two-step penalties. They always go in, though. He doesn’t look at the ball, or the goal. His eyes stay fixed on the goalie. He sent England’s No.1, Jordan Pickford, the wrong way.

The wags in the row behind proceeded to discuss the heights of various goalkeepers. Eventually I worked out that ‘T-Rex arms’ is Pickford. A little harsh.

Everton seemed sluggish and ordinary, apart from Dacouré. But in the second half they were much better and we were mostly pretty awful. Desperate clearances hoofed high and hopeful. We just couldn’t keep possession of the ball. But weirdly, the longer it went on, the less likely it looked that Everton would score, for all their domination and waves of attacks. For us it was more frustrating than fingernail-biting.

We’ve won!

But three points is three points and a clean sheet is a clean sheet. The victory came as a welcome respite from a winless run of five games in the league. There were some good Brentford performances, too, particularly from Alvaro ‘Woah-Oh!’ Fernandez and Charlie ‘E’s a’ Goode. And Wissa looked useful when he came on near the end. So good to see him back from his ankle injury.

‘Aaaaaaaargh!’ was the one-word email sent by my Everton-supporting friend later that evening.

Next time…

Nice to end the month on a high note. And nice that although we’ve lost a few games we haven’t been tonked yet, so the goal difference is OK. Now we need to gird our loins for a whole eight games in December – seven in the league and one in the EFL Cup. Merry Christmas everyone and Bee Happy!

Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22 – episode 8

February made us shiver

Everton 4 Brentford 1     (FA Cup) 4th round         Saturday 5 February                      

Everton have a new manager. Not sure they’re right for each other, but hey-ho. We shall speculate on how long before the Magic Lamp starts singing a different kind of blues.

Couldn’t go cos of work. First game of season missed, home or away. Someone should compose a paean to those who go home and away, rain or shine, every season. Commitment. Dedication. Is their outlook different to home onlys?

But we will be there for the Prem League near the end of the season.

Manchester City 2  Brentford 0                  Wednesday 9 February

The train up to Manchester, hotel check-in and a wander round. It’s been a long time since either of us has visited Manchester. It’s been a long time since we had to deal with such a long losing run. A long time since we’ve felt the loom of relegation at this point in the season.

Afflecks Palace

We like Manchester. Memories of Afflecks Palace and all that. But these days there are many more street characters and homeless hopefuls than before. Meanwhile James Watt reads a book about steam engines.

Manchester bee images abound, not unlike our own humble bumble, they symbolise the city’s age-old work ethic. Not sure how hard City would have to work today…

As we Bees swarmed to the 7.45pm kick off under a blue moon, word went round that Ivan Toney had injured his calf and that Canos and Ghoddos would be playing up front. Gosh.

Starry, starry night

The Etihad is a beautiful stadium, especially at night with the constellations of bright lights adorning the massive steel framework and the flash motors in the carpark. Starry starry night. The programme seller also offers the club magazine and the club songbook…

No Covid tests. Concrete innards and a smaller concourse than Spurs but does the job with quick service and easy access to the spacious seats – plenty of leg room here. Through the clouds from the smoke machines, the energetic waving of big flags and the din of Blue Moon and something by Oasis I failed to notice the cardboard portal of silliness and I’m glad I did, though I did notice the wonderfully large scoreboard.

The only downside is that the away section is split over two tiers, which made coordinated singing difficult for those of us in the upper level. It made it harder to compete with the City fans, who love to sing and did so all game.

In the first half we were nervy, then competent but not brilliant. We fended off the best team in the world for 40 minutes, until Raheem Sterling drew a foul from Mads Roerslev and Mahrez pooped in the penalty. What a shame. Half time came and the PA treated us to some more Oasis.

The matchday programme features an interesting bit about Kevin Cummins, NME photographer and City fan who in 1980 did a shoot with Madness and still got to the game at Coventry by dint of deviousness. I loved the NME in those days. Everyone did.

The half-time Pep-talk had City ramping up the action way down the other end of the pitch. Raya was kept busy and just one slip, a fluffed pass that ended up at Sterling’s feet. Shot saved but ball fell to De Bruyne, who was never going to miss from there.

Wissa and Mbeumo came on. City went into cruise control, but there was no time wasting. Sign of a good side?

We even got a couple of corners!

Scuffles on the lower tier at the interface of Brentford and City fans. Amazed it went on for so long given the huge number of stewards and police. Sparked I think by objects thrown down from upper-tier City fans away to our left. No one got thumped.

No shame in this defeat

As we left the ground to the accompaniment of more Oasis, we were just grateful Brentford didn’t get a thumping either. As for City? No one can stop them now – coz they are all made of stars.

Brentford 0  Crystal Palace 0       Saturday 12 February                   

An even-muster-winner game if ever there was. Well, certainly must not lose. Need to halt the slide.

Brilliant programme

We missed the introduction of Onward Christian Eriksen before the game. Guess he’ll be making his first-team debut before too long.

One of the portal porters telling Pontus that most other clubs’ portals are plywood not cardboard

‘Palace have a plywood portal… pass it on!’

Palace are strong and tricksy, as we discovered at their place way back in August. They also have the brilliant but easily provoked Wilfred Saha up their sleeve.

In the first half some good football was played, entertaining stuff. In the second half Palace improved and we didn’t, a familiar pattern where a once solid defence gets rattled and resorts to scrappy clearances. We just didn’t look like we’d score. The fans instead started hoping we wouldn’t concede, we’d be happy with the point.

Controversy about the cross a Palace player handballed that the ref didn’t give. Funny how bad the refereeing is when you’re not winning.

The draw was a fair result. Our heads are still above water.

Arsenal 2  Brentford 0                    Saturday 19 February

Twenty years ago a Gooner ex-colleague was forever going on about going up the Arse. Until one day some wag asked him if he ever took his girlfriend…

Patrick Vieira, who we saw at Brentford with his Palace team just last week.

Micah Richards has been getting some stick after saying on Radio5live that Brentford are overrated. I’m not sure who by, but he does have a point. We’ve long since stopped being the breath-of-fresh-air newcomer surprise package that beat Arsenal in the first game of this Premier League season.Patrick Vieira, who we saw at Brentford with his Palace team just last week.

Arsenal kit in the 1920s.

In the concourse for a pie and a pint. All good tho small compared with Spurs and City. The telly tells us Newcastle only drew. We’re so happy, one of the shit cushions is still in place. This is what it’s come to…

Arsenal are certainly a lot better now, but still have a tendency to self destruct. A red mist (with white sleeves and white shorts) still sometimes descends and leaves its red calling card.

We weathered the first half but storm clouds awaited the start of the second.

Arsenal’s matchday programme has a lively community feel to it and the easiest Spot the Difference, ever.

A welcome belated patch of sunny blue greeted our VAR-confirmed consolation at the Emirates.
My grandfather’s clock…

The clock from the old Highbury Clock End told us Arsenal’s revenge was all but in the bag and, well, we hadn’t expect to win this one anyway. Most of the shit cushion teams below us didn’t win either.

As we file down Upper Street to the Spoonies at the Angel I muse aloud that we might finish by staying up with the lowest points total ever. No one laughs. I am rebuked.

Brentford 0  Newcastle United 2                               Saturday 26 February

Hanwell Town has a strong connection to Newcastle so opened their bar to Newcastle fans before the game, even though Hanwell were playing away today. Nice touch.

Familiar faces from behind.

It felt like spring as we walked to the stadium, and hope springs eternal as we learn that Ivan Toney and Christian Eriksen are on the bench. Eleven games left and the season starts here!

The North Stand has a new upper tier.
In five minutes’ time they’ll be taking it down again.

But our new season lasted not much longer than the no-sooner-assembled-than-dismantled pointless pre-kick-off portal when Josh de Silva was sent off after just 11 minutes. And we’d started so brightly, too. Indeed it took Newcastle ages to score. 

In ten minutes’ time Josh’ll be back in the dressing room again.

Midway through the second half Christian Eriksen came on to massive applause from all. To come back from near death as he has. Ivan Toney came on too, but it was too little too late. You got a taste of what’s to come with Eriksen’s dominance of the midfield and exquisite passing. You certainly noticed the whole team lift.

Penny for ’em, Christian.

Before this game Newcastle were one of the shit cushions below us. Now we’ve become one of the shit cushions below them. Thomas and the players still did the walk around the edge of the pitch. Christian Eriksen spent more time than anyone applauding the fans and was the last to go down the tunnel. Does anyone else think he looks a little bit like Budgie from the Banshees?

Next time…

All this talk about going down, when there are still 11 games to play. Thing is, when you haven’t won for such a long time you wonder where the hell it’s going to come from. Well, next week at Norwich. Obviously.